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8 secrets to getting everything you want in life

Having it all comes down to having the right mindset. Business leaders and advisors from The Oracles let us in on how they achieved their dreams — and how you can, too.
1. Calculate your lifestyle net worth
“It’s not just procrastination and inaction that throw us off in life. It’s also action toward the wrong goal. Many people only focus on their financial net worth. But to get everything you want in life, you need the right metric: your lifestyle net worth.
You can easily calculate yours right now. Rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 in what I call the four pillars of the good life: health, wealth, love, and happiness. Your health net worth relates to your body. Wealth is your financial net worth. By love, I mean friends, family, and romance. Finally, how happy are you? How calm are you when you wake up? How much stress do you experience? Average those four numbers and you get your lifestyle net worth. That’s the number you should focus on.
2. Move past failure
“I’ve always been good at failing. I failed my way from grade school straight through college because I was a lousy student. That was the perfect background for overcoming the obstacles that would get in the way while building my business.
My boyfriend and business partner loaned me $1,000 to start my real estate business. He later announced that he was going to marry my secretary. When I ended that business a year later, he predicted that I would never succeed without him. I knew I’d rather die than let him see me fail. So I worked my butt off for the next 20 years to build one of the largest residential real estate companies in New York City. It wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been willing to stay in the game using my best card: moving past failure.”
3. Change your mindset
“The thoughts that occupy your mind determine the outcome that you have in life. That’s because they determine your belief systems. Your belief systems determine your habits. Your habits determine your actions, which determine the outcome. Mindset, belief systems, habits, actions, and outcome are everything.
The cherry on top is to live in service of others. If you can serve others, you get more in return. The more you do that, the more you will get what you want. That’s the blueprint to my success. Most people think it’s marketing, selling, influence, or building culture. But all that is a byproduct of mindset and service.”
4. Practice ‘vibrational giving’
“Succeeding in life and business is all about give and take. The universe returns to you tenfold what you send out to it. Vibrational giving is about the feelings attached to your actions. Giving your time, resources, money, or energy to a business or personal exchange comes with an intentional emotion, good or bad. If you feel hate as you do something, you’ll attract hate. The same goes for love.
This idea changed my life. Whether I’m hiring a new employee, pitching an idea, or meeting someone new, I always give with joy, love, goodwill, and gratitude. When I can’t go into a business deal with those emotions, it’s not worth it. If you’re considering a decision but don’t have these feelings, don’t go through with it — especially if instead you feel anger, resentment, or distrust.”
5. Work hard and know your ‘why’
“It’s blood, sweat, and tears on the way to the top — otherwise everyone would be there. If you don’t face challenges, you haven’t set the bar high enough. Be optimistic and see problems as opportunities. Do what others won’t. Get up early. Work extra hours. Listen to an inspiring podcast instead of the radio. Turn off the TV and read a self-development book.
Don’t reinvent the wheel; learn from others who are killing it. Look at your goals every day and track your progress. If you wait for perfection, you’ll never do anything. If it’s 80 percent there, implement and perfect it later.
Life is about helping others get what they want. Money won’t make you happier. When things get tough, you need a strong why. Find out what you’ll do after you have it all and make that your motivation.”
6. Slow down and meditate
“‘Having it all’ is an illusion. Contributing to the world through your career, entrepreneurship, family, and community requires constant trade-offs. It can be stressful to identify what to say yes to today and no to tomorrow. You might feel as if you’re never going to get life right. I encourage my clients to create space and slow down. Time in silence is important in this hyperconnected society. Otherwise, being driven by busyness often transforms into heaviness, which overwhelms the best of us.
Meditation opens the door to authentic and accessible happiness, which is truly the ‘all’ we crave. It’s more than cars and homes in the physical world. We’re looking for nonphysical things, like time for family, connection, friends, self-care, vacation, and embracing peace. Master the art of leaning deeper into yourself and learn to trust your intuition. That’s how you design a life you love — the kind of good life that will love you back.”
7. Develop your network
“Your network is your most important asset. While knowledge, skills, drive, and mindset are important, my network has opened doors and given me opportunities I would never have had otherwise. Besides, your network can provide all of the experience, knowledge, and skills you need. You’ll never be perfect at everything, but a Rolodex full of the right connections can solve almost every problem thrown at you.
If you want to develop your network, travel to events in your niche and help as many people as you can. Get into the habit of reaching out or helping one person every day. Your network is an asset you can’t lose or sell. It only grows as the years go by.”
8. Focus on self-development
“Constant self-development and growth is the answer to getting everything you want. When you have a mindset that is continually growing and being nurtured, it’s conditioned to go get everything you want because life is always happening for you, not to you.
Commit to your why and ultimate vision. Think about it as if it’s already happened while detaching from the ‘how.’ Develop and feed your mind while imagining your exact outcome. That manifests your ultimate vision.
Step one to get there: declare it very clearly. Step two: commit to your mindset growth. Step three: believe. Get out of your comfort zone and immerse yourself in podcasts, events, books, and leadership training. I attribute my success to my dedication to constantly up-level my mindset and guarding the door to my mind and my inner circle.”
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